Destined VS Will: The Have and The Haven’t

by Lolo Sianipar

Beg for Money?I think this topic is one of the oldest argumentable topic we have in our social life, are we pre-destined? Or all things will happen according to our will and how hard we work for our dream? I had a light conversation with my Uda (young uncle) on the 1st day of 09 regarding this. This subject have been occupied my mind since I came back from Medan, from attending my grandma’s funeral. I see something that really – really annoyed me, I saw a bunch of people (still my close relatives) and their strong financial dependency on one wealthy family (that also still my close relatives). I’ve known this fact since several years ago, but I didn’t expect that things will stay the same or even worse than it was. My annoyance is mostly not because of the dependency itself, I mean it’s their money and they have any rights on earth to give it to which they like. But it because that financial dependencies change these people’s – who’s in favor – mental attitude. They see things and do things not like one free person, for me not “normal” and never objective, they always use references from their financial supporter’s opinion and plan, needn’t to mention how they worship that wealthy family. They move around only if they’ve told to, even when they eat and when they want something, they try to find approval first. If this is group of political party or a social strata hierarchy, I won’t mind, but for god sake’s it’s your own brother and/or sister, bound by blood, have some dignity!

Uda said that those things are destined, people not chose to be in that position, hinge on tirelessly to another person economically and let their freedom taken away, and by freedom, I mean their power to decide, their short or long plan, their time and energy, and worst… their character. He added, they want a break out, but they couldn’t, because they don’t have enough to support themselves, they need a benefactor. He also took an example from those people who sell vegetables on traditional market, they work from 4 am to 10 pm and that’s all they got, enough to support them for a day only, and these bunch of people is the same only they’re lucky they have a rich relatives to “help” them, even if its by begging. I kinda disagree with this point of view, let’s say my ex maids or ex-driver, no matter how different the amount of money we make monthly, they were never financially dependent on us, that’s proven, they resigned to find something better. “poor” is in our mind, do we ever really poor if we feel content? “poor” is having less than we need, but our basic needs is our freedom, and need no money for that.

What is destined for me is fundamental things only, I’m destined to be a woman, Indonesian, Bataknesse, my family, those things I can’t change. But not my future, not the way I lived my life and that’s of course including small things like financial matter and how I earned money. I will not worship people just for the money they gave me or they will give me. I always believe when there is a will there is a way. And talking about financial security, is only a matter of are we happy enough with what we have and how to use it wisely. I’m not destined to beg, no one destined to be a beggar. 1 rupiah I earned today, 1 rupiah I’ll spend, and I thank God for that 1 rupiah.


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