In memory of Fauzy Syuaib

A tribute to Fauzie Syuaib (Bang Oji): my lecturer, my life-tutor, my relationship-coach, my friend indeed

Bang Oji

You’re searching…
For things that don’t exist; I mean beginnings.
Ends and beginnings – there are no such things.
There are only middles.
~Robert Frost

First of all I would like to say thank you and thank you so much Bang Oji! You’ve been, and you’re always such a wonderful person in my life. You had brushed a beautiful color to my existence and it stay forever. Of course the first time we met, you were NOT my friend, because you were my lecturer. And you gave me B for what should’ve been A, I couldn’t remember what subject, but I know I worked my ass so hard to get an A! But then you comfort me and challenge me. Anyway, I got a good grade in the end, you helped me along the way. Bang, we did share a lot, a lot, a lot of things back then, didn’t we? We shared secrets, we shared dreams, we shared life, options, thoughts, laugh and sorrow.

Education is not the only thing that you gave me. I still remember when you announced that I’m JUST a diploma graduation, in front of University of Indonesia diploma class, more than 40 students, and right before I’m going to share my professional experiences, I was replacing you for that session. I still remember vividly that some eyes almost popped out. it was so clear what’s on their mind “ONLY a diploma graduated?” I laughed, thank you for being so proud of me. You always said “Lolo, it’s good for you to continue your study and get your bachelor, I support you 100% on that, but what you have now is great, and don’t worry too much about title, all you need is keep shaping your skill and have an attitude of always ready to learn anything from this life” You’re one of the most influential person in my career, I don’t mind to give you the credit.

How was such a busy man like you can always make time for me, I’m still amazed. As a matter in fact, it’s always you who initiated our rendezvous, you were so enthusiastic to see Lia & I and to catch up with us, to know what’s going on (the invitation always come for both of us). My favorite opening everytime we meet was “Bang, I just moved to another company, again.” Hahaha. I know you’re the only person in my life who fiercely encourage people to be whatever they wanna be and don’t care about stick to one place or one job or one field of work, I don’t know whether it’s right or not, all I know it works for me. That’s why beside my parents, you’re the only – the only – person that I wanted to discuss about “JOB”. Everytime I consider a job offering, you were always there for me, you sit there, you listen carefully and you give me an opinion for every options I have. You were not decide it for me, you just there let me to think over about it. Still, I made several stupid decisions and end up hating the job, but you never said “See I’ve told you!” Never! You laugh lightly, and continue with stories of your life. I heard from a friend on the day of you funeral, she said, that you told her: “Wherever Lolo go for work, she always get a good position” I laughed. God, I miss you so much Bang.

I remember how much I insisted to bring almost all of my boyfriends for you to see (or to be appraised for precise hehehe). Well, they’re all my ex now, but you never told me which one you really like anyway, so I was planning of getting a new one ASAP and see how do you feel about that person. Hahaha. O well, won’t be another chance now. I remember when I bring one of them, you gave me a very logic perspective about relationship and human characters, basically about me and him. It was neatly said and I stunned by how making sense it all, and then leaving him seemed like a very much good decision also because later whatever you said proven bit by bit by time. So it’s not fair! you came to Lia’s wedding, but will never come to mine. It’s not fair…

Bang, remember, when you feel so down? Back several years ago. When something tempted you so much? When you said: “I know the way out of this problem, I know what I should do to make things right, but I’m weak, that’s why I’m telling you, my struggle, because I know both of you are willing and able to help me out, just by keep reminding me to survive through this temptation. I know I can trust you” I remember your eyes when you said that, you looked a bit confuse but yet sturdy. You, Lia & I, we sat for hours in that small café at Kemang, and you said all things that you wanted say, pouring out your heart in detail and we all feel disappointed, almost shed tears, be quiet for some moments, then laughed. Your secret, mistake you’ve done, and pain you’ve caused to people you loved so much. You were amazing, you stood against your selfish self and you admit it and you… you overcome it. You succeed Bang! By knowing that you’re not perfect at all, that you have weaknesses as well, we look up to you even more. You did a mistake and you fixed it. You’re one of us, not just a lecturer of just a scholar, you’re a friend. You see? You make things right in the end Bang, you know what I mean. Loves proven conquer all, and you won over every one’s heart, especially that little lady, wife of yours that you loved so much.

I never thought you’re going to leave me Bang, to leave all of us. I never thought that the last time we prayed together in the hospital will be the last thing we do together, I can’t believe it, up until now. I can’t believe the last time you called me to tell me that you already married again and asking why I didn’t show up, would be your last call. We promise we’ll see each other soon! You promise me that you’ll introduce me your new family member. I was a bit mad at you at that time, I wouldn’t miss your wedding for anything in this world, you know that! Still, I can’t find your invitation that you said you had text to me. If I know, if I know… that was only a month and half ago…

Well, Bang, I’m sorry, I refused to say good bye, well at least not now and not near in the future. Let me cherish the memories of you in my life, because I won’t ever lose my best friend, not even because of death. Let me reminiscing for a moment, how I treasured all things you had taught me, all the conversations we had, and fatherly soft spoken words of yours, all of it. O, and the light laugh (almost like a giggle) you always did. I hope I make you proud enough. I hope you come and visit me once in a while in my dream, and I’ll visit you in my prayer, and we’ll have another sharing session together. But still, Rest in peace, Bang.

You and I will meet again
When we’re least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won’t say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again
~Tom Petty


Bang Oji & family @ Lia's Wedding

Bang Oji & family @ Lia's Wedding



13 thoughts on “In memory of Fauzy Syuaib

  1. Lolo, salam kenal…aku sedih banget baca blog nya mba Lolo ini, aku juga salah satu anak bimbingannya Bang ojie 2 semester lalu..aku kenal bunda, sempat sekali mengobrol dengan beliau sewaktu aku sedang hamil besar dan konsul di rumah bang ojie, hadir pada saat bunda meninggal……hingga bang ojie memperkenal kan calonpendamping hidupnya, seorang wanita yang tidak kalah baiknya seperti bunda…hingga aku datang waktu hari meninggalnya bang ojie, aku lihat di sedepan mataku sewaktu beliau di kafankan…..hingga sekarang aku belum lulus kuliah karena matakuliah statistik…….padahal bang ojie sudah mempermudah sekali untuk ku dalam penyusunan skripsi……aku juga merindukan bang ojie mba, terkadang aku masih suka mendengarkan rekaman opini beliau waktu aku sidang outline, ledekan beliau tentang kehamilan aku di saat aku sibuk skripsi dan kuliah juga menjadi kuli di trans tv…saran2 beliau……sidang skripsi ku bulan desemeber tahun kemarin……ga akan mungkin terlupa… karena 2 tahun terakhir hidupnya aku merasa begitu dekat…

  2. Dear Eka…

    Salam kenal juga. Thank you so much untuk sharing cerita tentang Bang Oji ya. Senangnya… kamu sempet lihat Bang Oji bahagia ama pendamping barunya. 😦 I wish I had that chance too. Tapi apa yang mau dibilang ya? umur kan di tangan Tuhan. Kangen ya sama dia? sama ledekannya terutama… trus kalo udah ngeledek, dia suka ketawa sendiri… hahahha… sementara kita sebel.

    Iya, waktu sidang aku, juga dia banyak bantu, padahal dia bukan dosen pembimbingku loh! Tapi sahabatku juga bisa lulus setelah hampir lebih dari 10 semester ekstensi (hampir DO) karena Bang Oji 🙂

    Sekali lagi terima kasih sudah sharing, senang rasanya ada orang untuk berbagi kenangan tentang hal-hal seperti ini.

    See you around…

  3. Hi Lo!
    Wow, that’s very amazing you created a tribute to our beloved teacher and friend, Bang Ojie on your blog. Gosh! I can’t believe he’s gone now. You know, if possible I would like to share my memories about him also in your blog. Because he helped me a lot also especially especially when I was still his student. I even worked for him for a while after I finished my bachelor degree. So, if you’re okay with that, I will post a tribute for him too or at least share the memories with you. Thanks for the lovely tribute. I didn’t know you and Lia were close with him even after college years over. It’s good to know that he had many friends that love him so much. May he rest in peace now.

    Regards, Alvi.

  4. Dear Alvi,

    How are you? It’s been a long time ya? Yes, Bang Oji was quite close with me and Lia, we meet at least once a month or two, and always keep each other up date 🙂 … I miss him. I know you were close to him too :), and you are very much welcome to share your tribute to Bang Oji, anything to remember a good friend… I’ll be waiting to read your tribute….


  5. Hai mba,
    Apa kabar semua,

    Saya Tina Fauzie, saya banyak dikenalin n tau cerita-cerita mahasiswi dari bang ojie, rasanya seneng bgt bisa kenal n denger cerita mereka, lucu, kadang bang ojie suka jaim katanya, tapi itu hanya untuk mendidik,

    Karena dengan bakat kecerdasannya dan kepedulian sebagai seorang abang selalu ingin berusaha semua mahasiswanya mencapai kesuksesan

    serasa mimpi, saya hanya dapat mendengarkan cerita-cerita langsung dari bang ojie hanya dalam beberapa bulan saja….

    Selebihnya saya membaca dan menjawab cerita-cerita sobat-sobat bang ojie melalui frenstr n email, hal ini membuat airmata saya sampai saat ini tidak bisa berhenti mengalir jika membacanya, hati saya miris ga bisa menahan rasa kangen, apalagi kalau membaca tulisan-tulisan romantisnya yang hanya bisa saya simpan dalam ponsel :
    Bu tinaku, mempelaiku, jangan ragukan cintaku padamu, apapun yang terjadi dibelakang,
    ke depan ku mau menghabiskan usiaku bersamamu”
    Allah mengabulkan permintaannya, tapi ….
    Kenapa hanya 2 bulan 1 minggu…. ???

    Walau ini realistis yang harus saya hadapi,
    tapi perlu perjuangan untuk menata hati….

    Kita semua kangen sama bang ojie, suami, pendidik, sahabat, ayah, teman curhat, dan semua seakan dia legend bagi kami,

    Tidurlah dengan iklas dan tenang Pa Fauzieku
    kekasih hati kami, pujaan hati kami,

    Isteri yang sedang menata hati ,
    – Tina Fauzie –

  6. Dear Mbak Tina,

    Sungguh ga nyangka Mbak Tina bakal mampir di blog ku, aku antara senang sekali tapi juga sedih. Senang karena akhirnya aku bisa berkenalan langsung dengan Mbak Tina, perkenalan yang tertunda. Terakhir aku teleponan dengan Bang Oji, beliau cerita tentang Mbak, suaranya sangat bahagia Mbak. Selain dia marah karena aku ga datang di pernikahannya dengan Mbak, tapi dia bilang aku HARUS bertemu dengan Mbak, karena Mbak itu cantik dan baik luar-dalam. Aku sangat semangat, kita mengatur waktu secepatnya. Aku ingat, waktu itu aku rasanya legaaaaaa banget… berarti ada seseorang yang merawat Bang Oji dan anak anak sekarang, dan Bang Oji kalau sudah memilih, pasti itu yang terbaik.

    Mbak, aku turut bersedih dengan kehilangan Mbak ya… aku berdoa semoga Mbak tetap tegar, walau kalau aku ada di posisi Mbak, aku sungguh tidak tahu harus berbuat apa… tapi dengan Mbak Tina berbagi cerita seperti ini, aku bisa mengerti betapa kuatnya Mbak Tina menghadapi semuanya.

    Sekali lagi, aku berdoa semoga Tuhan akan senantiasa menguatkan dan menghibur hati Mbak dan keluarga. Dan Bang Oji juga akan selalu ada di hati ku dan teman-teman yang lain.

    Anytime you need a friend to talk to, please consider us as a friend too…

    with a warm hug…

  7. Mba lolo,

    Makasih ya atas doanya,
    semoga dengan doa banyak orang, aku, anak-anak dan kel bisa menghadapi dan menjalani hidup ini dengan realistis, walau kadang miris…..
    Begitu juga untuk bang ojie….
    Dia pasti seneng banget punya banyak teman dan mahasiswa yang sayang dan selalu empati

    Apalagi hari ini adalah tepat tanggal 17,sudah sebulan dia meninggalkan aku, kami semua yang mencintainya, sedih banget rasanya
    seiring dengan ini juga, aku akan senang sekali kalau kalian sahabat-sahabat bang Ojie mau hadir untuk berdoa bersama pada acara 40 hari tanggal 25 April 2009, jam 19.00.
    Semoga tali silaturahmi kita tetap terjaga

    Thanks for all,

    — Tina Fauzie —

  8. Dear Mbak Tina,

    Doa kita pasti selalu bersama Mbak kok.

    Untuk yang 40 harian Bang Oji, aku akan usahakan ya Mbak, nanti aku kabarin juga yang lain….

  9. Mba lolo
    salam kenal ya.. asa sedih sekali di tinggal oleh bang.ojie..
    dia baik sekali ma saya, saya di angkat jadi asistan nya, banyak sekali pengalaman yang saya sangat banggakan dari beliau.. mba lolo senang bisa knal dengan mbak..
    mba ni no fadil 99675242, mungkin next time kita bisa ktemu,, oh iya 40 harianya bang ojie tgl 25 april…

  10. Dear Fadil,

    Thank you sekali udah sharing juga… aku rasa Bang Oji lagi tersenyum sekarang… Semakin banyak mahasiswa yang sharing seperti aku dan kamu ,aku jadi semakin yakin betapa Bang Oji meninggalkan jejak yang indah di hidup banyak orang, sahabat kita…

    Thanks juga buat nomor teleponnya, sudah aku simpan… tentu saja mari bertemu, mungkin di 40 harian Bang Oji? Or, kamu bisa email aku ke kalau ada apa apa…


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