You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them – Desmond Tutu
I’m not a person who grew up in a happy perfect family – Braidy Bunch style. I’m not a daughter of a parent who gets along well with each other all the time. Who’s Mom just like an angel or Mother Mary, never raise her voice to her husband or kids, and the father who is always be “the man” of the family and a perfect role model for my idea of a man. Nope. My family has its own flaws just like any other family. As a matter in fact, as a Bataknese family, one of the loudest tribe in Indonesia, my siblings and I grew up with a lot of events that full of emotions that turned us into a very expressive bunch of people. We had a lot – a lot – and when I tell you a lot that means really a lot of fights from time to time between us. But as I know God always puts me in a perfect ground to grow and shaping my character, I learn a lot of lesson that makes me who I am now from my family, and who I am now, is not really bad
Since we’re a bunch of really emotional people, of course we’re laugh out loud when we’re happy and we’re mad like nuts when we’re upset. But through the time, and as we’re all getting older things are a lot different as it was 20, 10 or even 5 years ago. Things that usually make us upset easily, all the “sensitive” conversation, all the pouting-period after we’re angry, all the harsh wordings that we emit to each other when we’re mad, and the way we handle each other emotion, all grow along the time. But I won’t take the credit in our own effort, it’s not in “US” alone that we’re able to learn about each other in the family. it’s in the knowing that God has an awesome plan behind why A, B, C, and D became a family, and why they have to go through such and such events in their life as a family.
What used to upset us, what used to make us yelling at each other, what used to be “sensitive” issues for us, bit by bit change into a quite disagreement that we reflect and think first before we try to start arguing with each other. O well, not all the time, we’re still learning, but the fight not so intense anymore. When I was a teenager, I thought I have the most horrible family in the world, but now, I think I have one of the funniest family that make me laugh most of the time, and I care about so much.
So you see, being one strong, happy family, it is NOT in the soft spoken words 24/7, it’s NOT in the caring all the time, it is NOT in the always being calm and 100% understanding each other, NOT in the avoiding argumentations, NOT in the settling down, NOT in “don’t start disagreeing!”, NOT in the holding hands everytime. One true happy family created from the everyday insanity the members do to each other, then learning how to look them again in the eyes and really forgive. It is in the hurting each other because people that the closest to us give us the most pain, but then we realized our love is way bigger than the pain, it’s in the fights but then hugs, in the pissed off but then you know you can’t live without them then you try to make them laugh again. You cry because they’re so rude to you, but then you decided they just another human being that can be wrong, and worth all the effort in the world to make up to. It is in the never ending learning about each other our whole life, ‘til the day we die. My family is in that process, now and then and forever.
In general, Mom and Dad are two total eccentrics who like adventurers, they spent their youth to travel or do things that quite un-ordinary for their time. They’re a bit old & tired now and need to rest quite a lot, but I won’t questions their “spirit” to try new things. My brother, he’s a bit quiet seemed like always has his own world in his mind, but he’s so caring and lovable. My sister, is a true work of art in terms of character, she has all the contradictions in her, she’s a dreamer who knows how to settling down whilst keep chasing the dream. And me, well, I have thousand ideas in my head that I want to do in one action so you can imagine how bubbly and jumpy I am, so hard to keep up to. But, you seriously don’t want to make a mess with us, you have no idea what we’re capable to do to people who tried to hurt one of our family member. THAT I can give you guarantee. THAT makes me the safest person on earth.
And this bunch of people that I want to take to 6 days trip back and forth Jakarta – Yogyakarta, more than 1200 KM in a tiny sedan car, as the last actions of 2009, and a new things for 2010. and you can read our actions on the next posts!
I know why families were created with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed. – Anais Nin