I once was so afraid to say this thing, or all the things that I’m going to say next. Why? Because I was worried about my “image”, afraid that people might think I’m in denial. Or some probably think that I’m trying to justify my singleness. I don’t want to be perceived as the sour old single woman. I don’t wanna give the impression that I don’t need man in my life. Especially living in Indonesia, with eastern culture means the majority believes: (a)educational degree, (b)settling down, (c)married, (d)having children, are the most important achievements in one’s life (man and woman), more than one true happiness and despite the increasing rate of divorce case every year. So my single life is amazing, but I don’t want people to know, I don’t wanna brag about it. Act like it’s none whatsoever important right now.
But sorry, no more Lolo like that, I wanna say out loud, THANK GOD I’M STILL SINGLE! And this is not coming from my own contemplation, no! I’m not that wise *grin* The credits goes to all the amazing people around me. I thank my Mom and Dad for this! I thank my best friends – single & married – that open my eyes and sooth my weary single-soul with sincere sharing on why I should be happy and grateful I’m still single right now (no this won’t turn out to be another Chicken Soup for Single Soul, trust me Hahaha…).
Yes, marriage and being a couple has its privileges but so does 30s-and-single, obviously. Being single enable me to have more times to reach most of my passion and dreams without any distraction or excuses. I have a career that I love so much with position that not many people in my age lucky enough to get it (and clearly won’t get it if I marry young), it also provides me with a sufficient paycheck. I have time to really build the network – personal & professional. I can be part of a lot of circle of friends from different backgrounds, different hobbies, different interests, different age, and I have time to really sit with them one by one, sharing ideas and stories, have quality time. I have more times to read more thick books without feeling guilty spending the whole weekend doing it (don’t have to mingle with the in-laws anyway). I can focus on my personal-social-projects and really sit and have me-time to do that, instead trap between times for my mom, my mother in laws, and myself.
Most of my married friend told me “Lo, never ever worry about still being single, just enjoy it to the fullest! I’m NOT regretting my married life, I love my husband (and my kids) so much. But now that I’m married I can see and realized that being single you can do so much. Being married enable me to see so many couples – especially the women – who’s trying so hard to cover the unhappy moment in their marriage life. Some of them just too young to get married, they don’t know what to do, they get disappointed so easily, but don’t want people to know or help. When you get married later, and you will, you’ll be way more mature, I assure you that!” wow!
And so my Mom told me not so long ago “Lo, don’t worry too much about not getting married yet. I have seen my friends’ daughter getting married in their 30s, and I think it’s really okay, because sometimes that’s the way it is, and way better. And I’m so proud of you Lo” awww… that’s the best thing a Mom can say to her single daughter. I have the best Mom.
In terms of relationship, right now I have someone that let me know how much he care for me every now and then. I found him so cool! Beside spending the time just the two of us (he seems really enjoy listening to my irrelevant stories and constant practical jokes hahaha). No, we don’t have plan to get married anytime soon (we have religion matter to sort out first, darn it’s difficult!), but he make me realized, that even thou things not really settle between us, I know now the profile of man that I want to settle down with.
Obviously not my previous boyfriend, who’s rather spends his weekend playing Winning Eleven at his friend’s house than take me on sudden trip out town picnic, too tired from his work. Not someone who wants to sleep on vacations rather than together have silly adventures. Someone who eager to teach me to do new cool things like err… squash? And as passionate as me to eat just anywhere we find interesting. Hahaha. Nooooo… my man is not prefect but his profile fit my personality! Just like me, he love traveling and adventurous and most importantly he likes it to see me having lotsa friends and support me in any possible way. Right now, I just can’t imagine if I marry my previous boyfriend, how unchallenging my life will be, how dull. And vice versa, I’m pretty sure I’m not the type of wife he’s looking for, he must be more into an indoor kind of woman, who’s willing to wait for him at home instead going out socializing. He’s lucky to get that kind of girl, and I’m lucky not end up with him.
Oh no, don’t get me wrong, I want to have a husband, I wanna have kids (maybe 4 little rascals), but must I say, God bless me with more time to enjoy this single life, to travel more, going-out-‘til-late more, hanging out with friends more, watching DVD 4 in a row, climb the ladder of professional career, opportunity to see new things, exploring more, and to figure the kind of man I really need in this life. Is not that being married you cannot do all these things, but please, you and me know it’s more difficult, don’t be in denial. 😛
What? Oh yeah , I heard you… what so fun with having little kids on my 40s? Ha! I’ll be much more ready than if I doing it in my late 20s, that’s for sure! I don’t have to regret the wake up every hour to feed the baby or change the diapers because I usually stay up late anyway. I don’t have to spend more time to work, for years that I’ve spent saving and work overtime during my single life. When I’m married, I’m pretty sure I can work from home after that long journey building my professional reputation. I won’t bugging my husband to take me on a tour around the world cuz I did it in my single life. I’ll be more than glad to cuddling with him at home on weekend and calling my best friend on the phone that I’ve spent enough quality time during my single life. I believe most of my best friends now will stick with me ‘til our old time… too much of hanging-out together in fact! Hahaha….
My single life indeed a happy to the fullest one! I won’t spend most of my single life searching for the one, by God’s grace he’ll be around anytime soon. Every chapter of our life has its own charm… What you sow, you will reap, so sow more happiness and quality time on your single life and see what you might reap on your married life, I know it’s something wonderful. My married-on-their-30s friends told me that! 🙂 Never have I regretted being 30s and single!