After a long absence, finally I write a new post for my blog. I have a lot of things to write about, new places I went and my many first-times in the past several months, but to break this absence I have to write something about human, a person, a character. Because for me nothing more interesting than a story of a man and how our encounter able to open my mind to things that I didn’t really ponder before. Just say that this post is my attempt to extract our moments and make it eternal and I don’t think it is necessary to deliberately say his – yes, he is a man – name. You do not advertise something that really precious that you want to keep for yourself, do you?
So, I give him an alias, Mr. Thoughtful, I know he wouldn’t mind, he IS thoughtful indeed. For the first time I met someone that naturally already put thoughts about everything, it’s not overrated when I said E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. He knows his game, I know he has quite a complete comprehension about what he want out of his life even not as perfect as he want to be perceived. He’s so confident about himself. For me he is like a very complete building mockup where you can see the miniature people and cars even to the furniture.
So last weekend we spent time together. Me, as usual – a sloppy traveler – didn’t plan for anything but the date and length of vacation that I want to take. If it’s regarding my personal life, I seldom have a plan. I spend all my capability and energy to plan my career and anything related work. It is too tiring to do both and I like it that way cuz it gives me balance in life. But most of the time if you don’t plan something really well, you usually end up with spend more resources to achieve whatever you want to achieve in the first place, might as well it be in work or personal life. So it is obvious that Mr. Thoughtful is the closest ideal vacation companion for someone like me.
Again, he already thought about EVERYTHING: where we want to go, how to get there, booked all the necessary booking, the info about the places, even to the level the REASONS why he chose each particular items, like why that particular arrangement, why that particular venue and restaurant, and so forth and so forth. I don’t even have to think what I want to eat, cuz he chose my meal. He was literally thinking for both of us! Hahahaha… it’s not a surprise cuz he can think for the whole department in his office. It was so amazing how little decisions I have to make in our 3 days journey. I was totally resting my brain when I with him. Imagine, if he also decide what I should wear for the day! I am in heaven Hahahaha… Not only that, things about work that I asked him, I got a really good feedback! God, I wish he stay in Jakarta so I can ask him about ANYTHING EVERYTIME, but I guess God try to save him from me exploit him hahahaha….
Conversing with him is truly fun, especially for someone like me who loves to listen to stories. He has a lot to tell, knowledgeable and he uses many illustrations, most of all them are relevant to our situation and condition. He’s so damn smart! There are not many people out there know how to tell stories or have interesting stories to tell, simply because they don’t like to read, not an observer, or ignorant. True that listen to Mr. Thoughtful can be so overwhelming sometimes. For the first time I want to say to someone “ok, shut up now, I want to digest whatever you just said because all interesting!!” hahahah… but I’m afraid that he will think I’m losing my interest , or he will lose his excitement in telling me things. Story telling with a lot of pauses is not fun at all you know.
Must I say that our intense discussion and conversation for the past days make me think a lot about things in me. He made me contemplate about several things even he don’t realize it. About how little I ask why to myself nowadays, about my long lost passion to always trying to figure out things, to enjoy general knowledge, to optimize my resources and many more. I remember in my 20s I was so much like a sponge try to absorb anything. Picking his brain and try to look things through his eyes is very much stimulating for me. Anyhow there are three main things that he made me ponder…
First, he made me really realized that for me being emotional is better than to feel nothing at all, but being emotional is not necessarily associated with being drama, he knows how much I try avoid drama in life. And he can tell if I pull out a drama, it’s because I know people around me expect it from me, that I need to put a good show to entertain my close circle. Our long conversation about this subject was really orgasmic to me, not to mention it happened after a really good meal. Regardless we have different view about happiness as purpose of life and part of emo, but we agreed that is why we can be so close, because we have different way of reacting to emo and happiness. His positivity and my negativity hahahaha…. Wait, I don’t feel negative… ! J
Secondly, he also made me realized I have no attachment issue especially to many people or many things in my life. He told me that obviously, it is easy for me to turn my emo ON and OFF as if I have a switch button for it, thus I have no issue to let things go. Then I re-thinked about my previous relationship or friendships that I started or ended easily, about how I just ditch out several people out of my life and I don’t regret it, that I don’t miss their presences, even thou we were so close and so many things we shared before. If I still trying that’s mean the button still ON, but once I put it OFF, I have no problem to walk away. I was thought – or want to be perceived – I’m the kind of person who try my best to make things last, that I love to cling unto things, as a mater in fact, I don’t have things that I’m so clingy to right now.
The last one is, he made me see that out there, there is a man who truly gives an effort to serve a woman without taking any advantage. Am I sounds so naïve to you? Hahaha…. He open doors for me, he pay for my food, he let me take the best seat, he chose my meal, he ask how I prefer to take things, he pay attention to what I like and what I don’t like, he took really nice pictures of me (he is a very talented photographer too), he take a mental note on how I react to several things, his jokes are funny to me, that’s special… Never have I met a guy so serving as Mr. Thoughtful and he said, I made him happy that’s why he did it all. Period.
Weakness? He has some but I’m not going to tell… I’m no freaking Dr. Phil to anyone anyway…
So which part is the curious case? All my best friends ask me the same questions, “Are you in love with him, Lo?”, “Are you head over heels for him?”, “so will this lead to somewhere?”, “will you see him again?”, “what happened beside the long conversations?”…. hehehehe… no, I’m not going to answer that… Mr. Thoughtful and I already laid all our cards on the table. Nothing to hide, I feel so comfortable to say things I meant to say from the bottom of my heart. We’re being totally honest and transparent about how we look things between us. Honesty as always is really rewarding.
Last weekend must I say is one of the best weekends in my life with one of the best companion who knows really well how to have fun and how to treat woman. On that particular weekend, he made me feel like I’m the luckiest girl on earth, for that, I am forever grateful, dear Mr. Thoughtful.